Today I was at the bank and the teller asks me "how is your baby?" I look at her strangely for several minutes, and ask... do I know you? Of course I don't know her. She either read about me, or saw our accident on the news. I've had so many people who don't know me come to me and tell me how sorry they are. It's amazing that a HUGE community can pull so closely together. I have googled my own name just to see what people have read about our accident and here is what I have come up with...
http://www.khou.com/news/local/montgomery/stories/khou080604_tj_infantkilled.5fc9349b.html
This is one of many articles...
Chloe Kaye
2/18/07 to 6/4/08
Wednesday, July 23, 2008
Forgot something
Our daughter that died that fateful day was a twin. When her twin brother was ten days old he died of trauma from birth. So within fifteen months we lost two babies. Both are in our hearts and souls forever.
With that being said, I still have a beautiful 8 year old, 5 year old, and a baby that is 2 1/2 months old still living in the NICU.
Our baby is fighting, truly. The Dr's have said this over and over to me... "she's a fighter" or "she's a miracle." I was told two days ago that upon her delivery they didn't think she was alive... it was a moment of silence as she was pulled out of me via c section, and then... she came out screaming. I believe she is here to stay with us, but there is also a part of me that doesn't want another child ripped away from me, and I'm scared to death of losing another one.
Anyway, Emrie, our baby, has developed NEC which is a feeding disorder that causes the intestines to either close down or almost close down to where she cannot pass anything through. It has been a roller coaster ride with her... one I want off of. She has gone through not breathing, heart rate drops, and now she will need surgery. Unfortunately I have to wait until Monday to find out when her surgery will be. The Dr's have set up one huge meeting to discuss everything from birth to what's going to have to happen in the future. This meeting scares me to death. I'm scared of what I will hear...
With that being said, I still have a beautiful 8 year old, 5 year old, and a baby that is 2 1/2 months old still living in the NICU.
Our baby is fighting, truly. The Dr's have said this over and over to me... "she's a fighter" or "she's a miracle." I was told two days ago that upon her delivery they didn't think she was alive... it was a moment of silence as she was pulled out of me via c section, and then... she came out screaming. I believe she is here to stay with us, but there is also a part of me that doesn't want another child ripped away from me, and I'm scared to death of losing another one.
Anyway, Emrie, our baby, has developed NEC which is a feeding disorder that causes the intestines to either close down or almost close down to where she cannot pass anything through. It has been a roller coaster ride with her... one I want off of. She has gone through not breathing, heart rate drops, and now she will need surgery. Unfortunately I have to wait until Monday to find out when her surgery will be. The Dr's have set up one huge meeting to discuss everything from birth to what's going to have to happen in the future. This meeting scares me to death. I'm scared of what I will hear...
Tuesday, July 22, 2008
How did I get here?
That is the question I wake up asking every day, until my mind fills with the memories of June 4, 2008.
Our story starts with a tragedy, unfortunately. On June 4th of this year I was almost 8 months pregnant and had three beautiful daughters who were 7, 5, and 15 months. On this particular day I was unloading dry cleaning from the car and had left my 15 month old in the car with it running while she slept, since I couldn't carry her and the laundry. I put the clothes up, got her out of her seat, went to the front of the car and turned the key off. The car began rolling back on us, with us trapped beside the car and behind the open door.
The door kept hitting us as the car rolled down our drive way. I had my daughter in my arms, I tried everything to pull us inside the car, and I just couldn't. The last thing I remember is grabbing the turn signal to hang on to, and it broke....
I woke up hearing someone scream for help... wait... I thought... that's me screaming for help. I came to reality. I was under the car, a tire on top of me. I was burning. I could hear my neighbors behind me... jacking the car up.. and then..... "THERE'S A BABY UNDER THERE!" My 15 month old daughter had somehow ended up on the other side of the car. She died that day, not too far from me on our front lawn while paramedics and firemen worked to save her, she closed her eyes and took her last breath. I was taken from under the car, and rushed to the emergency room where they preformed a c section and exploratory surgery to see if i had any internal damage. I was only 31 weeks pregnant. My daughter, Emrie, was born on the day her sister, Chloe died. That's hard to swallow, even harder to admit.
Emrie has now spent 39 days in the NICU, she has survived NEC, but now needs a surgery to repair her intestines. She has had too many blood transfusions to count, and also has two heart murmurs. She went through a stage of not wanting to breathe on her own, but has over come that.
And that is how I got here...
Our story starts with a tragedy, unfortunately. On June 4th of this year I was almost 8 months pregnant and had three beautiful daughters who were 7, 5, and 15 months. On this particular day I was unloading dry cleaning from the car and had left my 15 month old in the car with it running while she slept, since I couldn't carry her and the laundry. I put the clothes up, got her out of her seat, went to the front of the car and turned the key off. The car began rolling back on us, with us trapped beside the car and behind the open door.
The door kept hitting us as the car rolled down our drive way. I had my daughter in my arms, I tried everything to pull us inside the car, and I just couldn't. The last thing I remember is grabbing the turn signal to hang on to, and it broke....
I woke up hearing someone scream for help... wait... I thought... that's me screaming for help. I came to reality. I was under the car, a tire on top of me. I was burning. I could hear my neighbors behind me... jacking the car up.. and then..... "THERE'S A BABY UNDER THERE!" My 15 month old daughter had somehow ended up on the other side of the car. She died that day, not too far from me on our front lawn while paramedics and firemen worked to save her, she closed her eyes and took her last breath. I was taken from under the car, and rushed to the emergency room where they preformed a c section and exploratory surgery to see if i had any internal damage. I was only 31 weeks pregnant. My daughter, Emrie, was born on the day her sister, Chloe died. That's hard to swallow, even harder to admit.
Emrie has now spent 39 days in the NICU, she has survived NEC, but now needs a surgery to repair her intestines. She has had too many blood transfusions to count, and also has two heart murmurs. She went through a stage of not wanting to breathe on her own, but has over come that.
And that is how I got here...
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